SPD has bad poem contest.
Okay, I’m aware that there’s a multitude of bad poem contests floating around the interwebs, and the world and such. But none have a more lucrative prize than a free book of your choice up to $30.00 at SPD:
Little Jimmy can win poetry contests too?
SPD will award the SPD book of your choice (up to $30) for the worst poem in each category. Shipping included. Please select from one of the categories below and write the worst poem you can. Send to laura (at) spdbooks (dot) org. Be sure to indicate the category the poem belongs to, and also include your name, email, and address. You may submit poems in as many of the following categories as you like:
[ ] Worst overall poem
[ ] Worst poem titled “Unicorns In Fog”
[ ] Worst poem titled “Steampunk”
[ ] Worse poem wherein the title of the poem is longer than the poem
[ ] Worst poem using the words “gull,” “zephyr,” and “Persephone”
[ ] Worst poem in the form of a Facebook status update
[ ] Worst 4-line dramatic monologue
[ ] Worst use of the exclamation point in a poem
[ ] Worst poem in which there is an epiphany in a kitchen
[ ] Worst political limerick
[ ] Worst use of white space poem
[ ] Worst Denver Broncos poem
I’m going to try to nab the award for worst poem titled Unicorns in Fog. So far, the first line I’ve got is: “Or was it a bog? I forget, I was high.”
Anybody dare challenge me?
Feel free to post your bad poems in the thread of this post so I can steal ‘em and submit under my own very-tarnished poem-writer name.
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Is “epiphany in a kitchen” slang for something really sexual and depraved?
Frankly, I thought it was an old brand of refrigerator, and have been wondering why it wasn’t capitalized in the original list.
(But that may only be because I also thought that “gull,” “zephyr,” and “Persephone” were old refrigerator names, so I had the idea of old refrigerator names on the brain by the time I got to that item in the list.)
It’s actually slang for “pulling a Steve Jobs” which yes, is both sexual and depraved.